This post is going to be the most real I’ve ever been here. It’s going to be personal, and in depth. It’s REAL. Because that’s who I am.
The truth is…
This winter has been so much harder than last. And I definitely don’t mean weather wise. Last winter I had newly begun selling LuLaRoe and the money was soo good, y’all. It was the most money I had ever made and just from selling clothes! I was amazed at the potential and how much income I generated in just a few hours time a night. It was like, stupid good.
Well, this winter is different. First off, my sales slowed tremendously. Partially from lack of effort, I won’t deny that, and lost motivation. Also due to the feeling of regret of not pursuing Occupational Therapy, which I gave up to do LuLaRoe. Now, I have hundreds of pieces just sitting in my basement and all I can think is how much money (thousands of dollars) was invested. That is all I can think of when we are drowning in $30k in credit card debt, $40k in student loans, car payments, and so much more. It’s scary, it’s exhausting, and it’s just time to make a change.
We have made poor choices financially. We even used a credit card to start LuLaRoe and then never paid it off except for making minimum payments. All these terrible decisions have snowballed. Now we’ve learned from all this & have to just work our asses off to pay it all down/off. So… it’s why I decided to liquidate my LuLaRoe business (which I’ve had tons of questions about why I am, so this is it). At this point, I just need to pay off as much credit card debt as possible and will even work double shifts serving again to get in a better place financially. Literally. Lord knows my husband cannot possibly work anymore – he’s pulling 70-80+ hours a week and he deserves so much more than to work his life away. So let this be a humbling learning lesson and life message to us and anyone reading this: if you can’t afford it with cash, you don’t need it!
From our hardship, I’ve started following Dave Ramsey methods, we stopped eating out, I’ve applied at other jobs until I can start OT school, and we are determined we are going to come out on top of this. It’s just temporary, we’re going to get through the mess we’ve made. I’ve wanted to speak on this for so long now and I’ve been scared to post about it. Scared to open up, feel and be vulnerable, share our private situation, and to just show you that despite the happy face someone can wear, their world could be falling apart on the inside. That’s how I’ve felt recently and I know I am not the only person in the world who is struggling, in some way.
Today I paid our past-due personal property taxes and had to shell out $1300. And in 10 days have to pay another $700. I went to my car afterward and just cried. Cried feeling so overwhelmed, cried because I feel like a failure, and cried because I hate that I’ve been so irresponsible. How could I be so bad with money? Why have I not learned and improved? I’m angry with myself and disappointed but I decided to have a 5 min pity party then moved on with my day. That’s literally all you can do when life sucks I think; have a small pity party and then do something about it. Thankfully I start another job next week and I’m liquidating my inventory to help pay for Christmas and bills. I just keep telling myself, it’s going to be OKAY. You’re going to get through this!
So there it is. The scary monster we’ve been hiding in our closet: we are in debt, we struggle, and we’re stressed. This is my accountability post because I am going to use this to fuel the fire, to look back on when we’re free of debt, and to also keep encouraging those going through similar struggles. And just because I personally like reading people’s posts who are just real and open, it makes me feel so much more connected and related. Anyone else?
On the bright side, I’m finding out how much I love finding good deals and low prices. It’s addicting! Bring on SALE everything! I’m all about trying to save money now since following Dave Ramsey, so it’s def working. What tips/tricks do you have for budgeting? Any places you love to shop for great deals? Fill me in and let me know!!
Thanks for reading and following!