Faith over Fear

Have you ever wanted something so badly but when it came within your grasp, you turned away in fear?

Lately, I’ve been letting my fear trump my ambitions for nursing school. I even choose to give up on pursuing it because I was uncertain that I’d even get into a program! I’ve been scared of failure, rejection, and choosing a path that I won’t succeed at in life. I’ve been over-analyzing, questioning, mulling, pondering and making a decision only to change it a day later. I ask myself, can I handle the highs and lows? Will my Do I truly have the heart for this profession?

What I was not asking myself in the waves of doubt & fear was why would I NOT pursue this path? What about me would not be qualified? I know I would show up everyday and give a damn about my patients, no matter what, so why would I not even try? It was from the help of a nursing friend that made me realize I was letting my FEAR strangle me. I was letting fear and doubt control my mind, my thoughts and even my decisions. I then thought, wow, if fear & doubt can harness my mind to this extent, think of how many other people have let theirs do the same. Think of how many people haven’t pursued their dreams because of FEAR!

One thing I know for certain is that I’m not okay with complacency or wondering what my life would have been like if I had simply tried.

Last week, I had submitted application materials to a different course of study (therapy) because I knew I’d be comfortable with it and it doesn’t intimidate me like nursing does. I have no idea why I feel that way because I definitely don’t see therapy as a lesser profession! So I had decided I would apply since I had all prereqs complete and had already been accepted once before. I felt good about it and was using it as a safety net so I didnt to face rejection of not getting into a nursing program. And it was right after I submitted all my materials that I experienced a Divine Intervention. I got a phone call from William Jewell (my first choice for nursing) asking to set up an interview with me. I was suddenly not able to say no. I kept thinking, this is what I wanted so badly! Why am I giving up this option? Is that really what I want? I couldn’t say I wasn’t interested anymore; I had this notion within in me to say yes but still felt so unsure.

I was unexplainably emotional after the phone call. I felt like this is my fate calling. This is a sign! Therapy didn’t work out before and here I am again, trying to take fate in my own hands but God has a plan for me or I wouldn’t be considering nursing and setting up an interview! I strongly believe in fate and that everything happens the way it is supposed to. My heart is set on defending and advocating for my patients more than anything, and I have to accept that I am cut out for nursing no matter how intimidating it will be.

I don’t know we doubt ourselves the way we do and let fear take away from our potential. But I am done letting my fear make my decisions. I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. I’ve been abandoned by my mother, dealt with drug addiction in my immediate family, witnessed cancer steal the lives of my cousin in his young twenties, and my grandmother who was the only mother I ever had. I’ve been left at the babysitters for 4 days straight, being forced to wear the same clothes to school and being made fun of by my classmates while in the “care” of my mother who went MIA doing God knows what. I was changing my sister’s diapers at less than 5 years old and took responsibility for feeding her and I because my mother laid in bed sleeping all day. I attended 4 different elementary schools because of parental custody battles, and hated school growing up. I was failing multiple subjects and almost held back because I had missed more than an month’s worth of school. I was at a 3rd grade reading level in the 5th grade. I had no friends and didn’t ever get to play sports or extra curricular activities, until living with my grandmother. And you know what? I turned out to be a decent human being after all of that, so I know I can conquer anything life throws my way.

I truly believe my upbringing has inspired me to be the hope in peoples lives. Someone like my grandma and how she offered hope in mine. My grandma saved me; she was like my guardian angel here on earth, and she instilled many of life’s valuable lessons within me. She made sure I had my needs met and did whatever she could to ensure I thrived. And in life, we all need someone to fight for us and someone there for us so we know we are not alone. So I want to be a nurse to do just that. I am that person who cares deeply, protects fiercely, and nags because I care. And it’s why I know I have what it takes, even after all my doubts and fears trying to tell me I could fail and that it’s going to be difficult.

I know this is long and if you’ve even made it to this point I’m glad you’re still reading. I just hope to inspire someone who needs to be reminded of their potential and their worth. We all have faced hard battles and we have grown strong because of it. So whatever it is you’re scared of, just face that fear and use it as fuel. Let your faith and goals be bigger than your fears! It truly is the killer of all dreams, y’all. Don’t let it stop you from whatever it is you want to do with your life.

My nursing interview is Thursday with William Jewell College! I’m praying to the Good Lord to give me strength and courage to succeed in it. Where He leads, I will follow. I’m taking the plunge and ready for what lies ahead.

Xoxo Danielle

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Writing, nursing, life lately, etc.

The other day I found an old diary of mine and I thought, “I really want to write more, why don’t I write anymore?” I took a few minutes to flip through the pages and reimagine that time in my life when I wrote the words on the pages. My journal began during my freshman year of college and actually wrote in it semi-consistently for about 8 months. I relived days of happiness and even days of stress and frustration. I relished the posts about the time I spent with my grandma and even my cousin; both who are no longer here anymore because of cancer. Although bittersweet to read, I’m so glad I wrote those small details down.

So here I am, committing to writing more, and planning to write more posts weekly. I just think it’s amazing how we can keep online diaries in the form of blogs and share what’s going on in our lives. I loved writing in my hardback journal everyday even though I never knew if anyone would ever read it. And I get the same feeling typing in my blog. Who knows who will read it, and will they even care? But that’s the beauty of writing. For me, writing is an outlet, just like reading a great novel.

Today is my last day of spring classes and this semester will be memorable for me. The class I took was great but it’s really because of the time I spent this winter/spring mulling over career choices. I have a passion for many things and a highly creative mind but because of my constant over-analyzing, I’ve second guessed myself for a long time. I ask myself, would I be good at this? will I like what I am doing? Is there room for growth, advancement, etc? And i’ve shadowed a few different career choices in healthcare to narrow my selection, too. Many were happy when I decided to pursue nursing, some surprised. I’ve not always known I wanted to be a nurse but I know I would be good at it. I have known that I belong in healthcare because I genuinely care about people and want to help them. I want to educate people and promote health/wellness; two topics that I’m truly passionate about.

I just submitted the majority of my materials to my top two college choices this month, and I will hear back in the summer and fall. I’m extremely nervous and have been praying I get news that will allow me to start. If I get into my first school choice, I could be taking my NCLEX by summer of 2020. It’s exciting and frightening at the same time but I pray for this because I want my husband to have a normal life again. He works so hard for us and is constantly staying late to get over-time while I take classes and pursue nursing school. I’m so grateful to him and so proud of his hard work for us!

Anyway, besides wrapping up the academic semester and submitting nursing application materials, we’ve just been enjoying the nice weather. Jared’s been hunting for morel mushrooms the past weekend and a couple days after work. I try to take my dogs walking more often so they can expend some energy and I get some needed vitamin D lol This summer I plan to read a few books, visit farmer’s markets on the weekend’s, and do some much needed yard work and landscaping. What are your summer plans? Any vacations planned? Let me know in the comments.

xoxo Danielle

Amazon Dash Buttons: A Must Have

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It’s easy to order dash buttons (like the one pictured above) and also to modify/add buttons
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Ordering essential products is a breeze; just 1 click of a button and you have it in 2 days or less

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I use my buttons for essential items we tend to go through frequently so we never run out when they’re needed most!

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Located in our cabinet under the kitchen sink ,where we store these products

WHY I LOVE AMAZON DASH BUTTONS

Recently I decided to try out Amazon’s Dash Button service, since I am a loyal Amazon buyer and wanted to give it a shot. I am always ordering things on Amazon because I love the free two-day shipping with Prime. If it doesn’t have prime, I don’t buy it! lol So, I bought 6 dash buttons for our home to start. I have a goal to update my readers more frequently on products/services I’ve tried because I know how much I personally love reading testimonials! That being said, here’s what I think about the Dash service:

FAST

Again – super fast delivery, with constant tracking updates. When I start to notice I am getting low on something, I go ahead and push the button and voilà! It’s ordered and will be here within 2 days. This is great for items like dish washer detergent, laundry detergent, TP, toothpaste, etc. that you may forget to grab when out and about, but don’t want to run out of!

CONVENIENT

Because even though Target run’s are fun, sometimes it’s not always doable with a busy schedule. Especially when you’re sticking to a budget. This keeps me from overspending because typically if I have to get “just a few things,” I end up with MANY things I don’t need! lol

BACKSTOCK

Ok, when I first set up my dash buttons with TP and paper towels, the only options were like 2 packs of 6-12 rolls which is a lot! BUT I think this is perfect because it gives you plenty of extra so you don’t have to buy these products again for awhile. We typically buy TP and paper towels 1x a month, so this option will extend us to 2 months at a time. So that’s 6x less a year I have to worry about essential household items!

MY DASH BUTTONS

I ordered TideBountyBurt’s BeesGladColgate, and Charmin for laundry soap, paper towels, face wipes/chapstick, trash bags, toothpaste, and toilet paper.

There are hundreds of dash buttons to choose from and the best part is that you get to choose what each one orders when you set it up, so it’s custom to your needs. I highly recommend and will continue to reorder products from them. Oh and one other part is that each button itself costs $4.99 and then once you place your first order from that button, you get it credited back off your purchase. So they pay for themselves.

Stay tuned for later this week, I am going to do a beauty review. I’ve been trying out several long-lasting lipsticks and I’ve found some great ones!

xo -Danielle

 

Life Lately: School + Crushing Our Debts

658E32E7-4340-49AB-BE84-8B17987201C5.jpegAnatomy + Physiology keeps me busy!

Wow – it has been almost two months since my last blog post! Yikes, sorry guys. And there’s been a ton of changes that happened in that time frame. Lately, Jared and I just work a lot. I don’t work as much as he does but I’m working 5 days a week and going to school so sometimes I feel like I “work” all the time haha. He just got back from Texas on Wednesday and was gone for 5 days for work. At the end of January, I asked for my job back at Harrah’s Casino in the fine dining restaurant. It’s amazing money and only open 5pm-10pm w-th, and sunday, and 5-11pm on fri and sat. I seriously couldn’t ask for a better serving job while in school since it provides me with full time income.

We’re on track w/ our Dave Ramsey plan (we’re on Baby Step #2) and have been making some good strides so far, which is what I’m most excited to tell y’all about! I paid off one of my private student loans through UMKC yesterday – the balance was $665.14! And paid $1,350 toward one of my credit cards, leaving that balance at $877 (We plan to pay that one off next month, hopefully)! Jared works a ton of overtime & I had a great week at work, ans since our bills our paid for the month, we wanted to put as much as possible toward debts. It feels so good to be paying debts off!! Our goal is to have smaller credit cards paid off by summer, before I start either PT or OT school, and then to start really tackling our big credit card. 2018 is going to be a great year for progress – i’m proud of us for buckling down and doing this. And I won’t lie, it’s not fun having to be frugal and spending tons of money on debts instead of clothes or fun stuff (haha) but it’ll be worth it. Then, can start traveling more/experiencing more instead of being tied down to so much! #goals

Aside from that, we’ve just been homebodies! We have opposite schedules now so we don’t get a ton of time to spend together anymore but it’s a short-term sacrifice we’re willing to make. I’m gearing toward getting everything in place to apply to either the Physical Therapy or Occupational Therapy Assisting program at my local community college by beginning of summer. I can’t decide which one I want to do yet because I love what each represent & do in their respective fields. Either one would be a great fit for me but I plan to do more shadowing so I can really narrow it down. If you know of someone or are someone with experience in either field, let me know your thoughts and opinions!

In other news – and I have my 2nd Anatomy and Physiology test this next Wednesday and it’s super detailed. My first test I nailed and got a 96%, from a lot of hard studying! So I know I’ll do well again if I keep studying everyday like I have. Just have to believe in yourself is what I keep harping in my head. On this test, I have to know all the muscles and bones – which includes landmarks, orgins/insertions, what they do, how to identify them, etc. Wish me luck!

Ok, this is getting long so I’ll log off and update with more next week! Thanks for reading.

xo Danielle

 

Reality Check

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This post is going to be the most real I’ve ever been here. It’s going to be personal, and in depth. It’s REAL. Because that’s who I am.

The truth is…

This winter has been so much harder than last. And I definitely don’t mean weather wise. Last winter I had newly begun selling LuLaRoe and the money was soo good, y’all. It was the most money I had ever made and just from selling clothes! I was amazed at the potential and how much income I generated in just a few hours time a night. It was like, stupid good.

Well, this winter is different. First off, my sales slowed tremendously. Partially from lack of effort, I won’t deny that, and lost motivation. Also due to the feeling of regret of not pursuing Occupational Therapy, which I gave up to do LuLaRoe. Now, I have hundreds of pieces just sitting in my basement and all I can think is how much money (thousands of dollars) was invested. That is all I can think of when we are drowning in $30k in credit card debt, $40k in student loans, car payments, and so much more. It’s scary, it’s exhausting, and it’s just time to make a change.

We have made poor choices financially. We even used a credit card to start LuLaRoe and then never paid it off except for making minimum payments. All these terrible decisions have snowballed. Now we’ve learned from all this & have to just work our asses off to pay it all down/off. So… it’s why I decided to liquidate my LuLaRoe business (which I’ve had tons of questions about why I am, so this is it). At this point, I just need to pay off as much credit card debt as possible and will even work double shifts serving again to get in a better place financially. Literally. Lord knows my husband cannot possibly work anymore – he’s pulling 70-80+ hours a week and he deserves so much more than to work his life away. So let this be a humbling learning lesson and life message to us and anyone reading this: if you can’t afford it with cash, you don’t need it!

From our hardship, I’ve started following Dave Ramsey methods, we stopped eating out, I’ve applied at other jobs until I can start OT school, and we are determined we are going to come out on top of this. It’s just temporary, we’re going to get through the mess we’ve made. I’ve wanted to speak on this for so long now and I’ve been scared to post about it. Scared to open up, feel and be vulnerable, share our private situation, and to just show you that despite the happy face someone can wear, their world could be falling apart on the inside. That’s how I’ve felt recently and I know I am not the only person in the world who is struggling, in some way.

Today I paid our past-due personal property taxes and had to shell out $1300. And in 10 days have to pay another $700. I went to my car afterward and just cried. Cried feeling so overwhelmed, cried because I feel like a failure, and cried because I hate that I’ve been so irresponsible. How could I be so bad with money? Why have I not learned and improved? I’m angry with myself and disappointed but I decided to have a 5 min pity party then moved on with my day. That’s literally all you can do when life sucks I think; have a small pity party and then do something about it. Thankfully I start another job next week and I’m liquidating my inventory to help pay for Christmas and bills. I just keep telling myself, it’s going to be OKAY. You’re going to get through this!

So there it is. The scary monster we’ve been hiding in our closet: we are in debt, we struggle, and we’re stressed. This is my accountability post because I am going to use this to fuel the fire, to look back on when we’re free of debt, and to also keep encouraging those going through similar struggles. And just because I personally like reading people’s posts who are just real and open, it makes me feel so much more connected and related. Anyone else?

On the bright side, I’m finding out how much I love finding good deals and low prices. It’s addicting! Bring on SALE everything! I’m all about trying to save money now since following Dave Ramsey, so it’s def working. What tips/tricks do you have for budgeting? Any places you love to shop for great deals? Fill me in and let me know!!

Thanks for reading and following!

xoxo Danielle

Living For the Weekend

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OUTFIT DETAILS

TOP: LuLaRoe | CARDIGAN: LuLaRoe | JEANS: Charlotte Russe | SHOES: Matisse
| BELT: Amazonicon

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OUTFIT DETAILS

CAMI: JC Penny (dupeicon linked) | CARDIGAN: LuLaRoe | JEANS: Charlotte Russe | BOOTS: Charlotte Russe

Why does the weekend fly by so fast? The week was really busy so I definitely needed that reprieve. This weekend the weather got soo chilly! It felt more like winter weather versus fall. Our trees here in KCMO don’t even know what to do – they started changing colors pretty late in season and then now since we’ve had a couple frosts, the leaves are falling! So we have trees that look like a combination of winter and fall lol Colorful and half naked. It’s the weirdest thing, the weather is totally out of sorts right now. icon

Saturday we spent time with family for a intimate gathering for Halloween. My step-dad LOVES Halloween and goes ALL out! I love his spirit for it, makes it so fun. This was probably one of the first years that I didn’t dress up. Oh well, there’s next year! Maybe I’ll be something tooth related since I’m a dental assistant now (haha). Anyway – I ate too much candy and chips ‘n dip but I loved spending time with fam + Jared so it was all worth the calories 😉

My new job has kept me really on my toes with learning and balancing LuLaRoe, not to mention blogging and taking pictures! I’m figuring it out, hoping to catch my grove soon. I’m really considering Dental Hygiene School for the next fall if I can get all the requisites done and finances figured out. I already have my BS degree so I would only need a few classes and lots of shadowing hours. I never knew how much I loved the dental field until this job came along. Fun fact though – I tried to pursue dental hygiene back in 2011 but went with another major instead. Should have just went for it! So this has probably been a long time coming. I am going to sit on it for awhile though to make sure I’m 100% sure before making any big decisions. I just pray that the Lord leads me where I am supposed to follow; a place where I can continue to serve and help the lives of others.

Tons of items at Charlotte Russe’s and LOFT
icon are on sale right now – be sure to snag yourself some great deals. I absolutely LOVE CR’s jeans and LOFT sweaters. You won’t be disappointed, lovely!

Have a beautiful week!

XOXO -Danielle

 

Change is Good

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TOP: LuLaRoe | SKIRT: LuLaRoe | VEST: Maurice’s (dupe here) | EARRINGS: 7 Leather (dupe here)

 

It’s Monday eve and I am now relating to all of you who never want the weekend to end. I feel you, friends.

It’s been a year since I have worked for someone else besides myself. This past week was exciting yet exhausting while learning the ropes of my new job. It seems so overwhelming to balance this new job and selling my boutique clothing, not to mention contribute to housework, meal planning, and all of life’s demands. Seriously – to all you who are momma’s and doing this, I have the utmost respect. I don’t even have kids and I sometimes feel insane. Moms are super humans!

So I try to remind myself daily (when I am pouring myself out of bed at 6:15am) while getting ready, that I am doing this with purpose. I am trying to help design a life that eases our financial stressors and tackles our debts. That I have to do some things now in order to be able to do what I WANT to do later. It’s hard and stressful, y’all. Life was easier as a kid – there were no bills and meals were covered every night haha (my grandma was a mean cook, I miss those days).

Life is harder as an adult but it definitely makes us more resilient – I think of every challenge as a learning moment. Like right now: I know being a dental assistant will help me learn, grow, and figure out what I want to do later down the road. Maybe I could even pursue dental hygiene, or dentistry? Or maybe not, I just don’t know yet haha. I am a huge believer in “everything happens for a reason,” even if it sounds corny or cliché. But I truly believe it – everything in my life has taught me something; school, jobs, friendships, and everything in between. So I am using that as my mantra during my adjustment period here. It’s going to challenge and change me but for good reason. I just have to figure out what that reason is but I have confidence that it’s good. Only time will tell and I’ll be here, updating you along the way.

Tell me – have you faced a similar situation before? What did you do and how did you overcome it? Tell me your thoughts!

Have an amazing week,

xoxo – Danielle